Life on the Mekong and Other Rivers

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Monday, January 01, 2007

silly internet games, and the people, including me, who play them

So it seems that in blogger circles there is this thing where you write something about a particular topic or some such thing, then you 'tag' other people and they are supposed to write about a similar thing.

So I got tagged with a '5 things you don't know about me' theme: First by a colleague who goes by the handle Diplodocus, who I'm still not certain is not an evildoer, then by a colleague in Korea who goes by Girl who, I am certain, is an evildoer. They both hate me for my freedom, so have saddled me with this task.

I'm supposed to tell 5 things that noone, or almost noone, knows about me.

So, because there is nothing I like more than revealing my innermost secrets, hopes and goes:

1. at least one weekend a month I put on make up, a wig, a black cocktail dress and sexy but sensible shoes and hit the town as Rita, a divorced guidance counselor at a local high school and single parent just out looking to have a good time.

2. in 2002 I was recruited into a secret organization that quietly controls the world of soup. Nothing about soup happens without our say-so. Soup of the day at your local diner? That's our decision. The Cambell’s people are our minions. Progresso is controlled by the mafia, which in turn is controlled by us. I attend meetings quarterly in an old garage off the BQE in Brooklyn near the old Navy Yards and plot the slow but steady progress in our battle with the salad people for control of the first course of meals. We also work to rid the world of soup eaters who slurp loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear. Carpe Soup!

3. when hiking in Nepal in 2000, I got lost in a blizzard and could not find my way back to base camp. Then, a yeti attacked me, knocked me out and dragged me off to his ice cave, where he hung me upside down with my boots frozen in the ice. He probably meant to eat me, but before he could I freed myself, killed the yeti, and staggered out to try to find my way back, only to pass out from exhaustion and cold. As hypothermia set in and I was nearing death, my trusted friend Han arrived and saved my life by slaughtering a yak and putting me inside its body cavity, its entrails warming me. By its death, the yak gave me life. Later, we fought over a girl that, in the end, turned out to be my sister. And my dad cut my hand off.

4. my imaginary friend, Gary, has been with me since I was about 5 or 6 years old. He’s an Irish immigrant with a scraggly, unkempt, white beard, a large beer belly, and a slight limp. Gary made his living as a longshoreman in Newark until he lost vision in his left eye in a tragic skee ball accident on the Atlantic City boardwalk. He sued the city and retired when he was awarded a tidy sum, then decided to move into my bedroom. He is prone to anti-semetic remarks and is fascinated by fire. I’ve tried to kick him out, but he’s got a gun and, as he has told me numerous times, he ain’t afraid to use it.

5. I am a liar.

And a bonus revealing of something you don't know about me. I can't believe that the geek from Can't Buy Me Love is now some heart throb doctor on Grey's Anatomy. Dr. McDreamy? Please. He was such a geek he had to pay some chick to hang out with him.

Double bonus. I can't believe I have to get up tomorrow at 4:30 am to get Marla and Lesley to the airport for their 6:15 flight to Siem Reap, Cambodia.


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