A monkey stole my glasses

Seriously.

Thieving monkey. He stole my glasses in a split second, and even gifts of emory boards and chocolate eclairs didn't warm his heart enough to make him give them back. We tried hard for a time, until another monkey stole them from the first one and destroyed them.

Stupid monkeys.

Thankfully we found my old pair, which are kind of broken, but work well enough for the time being.

Stupid monkeys.