And the winners are...

Luther and Marilyn Nervig are the first people to go so far as to buy an airline ticket to visit this god-forsaken land, this land bereft of anything remotely redeeming, this land of not milk and honey, but dengue and malaria, this land that chews up even the most rugged of travelers and spits them out like so many sun-flower seed shells from a little league dugout, this land that has made scores of grown men cry out for their mothers, this land that, while ruggedly beautiful, hides the most hideous of creatures, just waiting to add you to their menu for the night, this land that, in the history of mankind, is unparalleled in its brutality and viciousness, this cruel land that spares no quarter for the faint of heart, the momma’s boys, the dainty ladies, or the weak-willed, this land that turns hearts black, and minds blacker.

And what do they get for their most misguided decision in a life full of misguided decisions (like having a 3rd child perhaps)?

-- Airport Transfer, $20 per person;

-- Full use of our humble abode at $50 per night, meals not included;

-- Complimentary welcome drink on the veranda;

-- All day Vientiane city tour, led by Katherine Nervig: $20 per person, lunch included;

-- Cultural tour to the Sunset Bar overlooking the famed Mekong River; $10 per person, beer not included;

-- 2 complimentary Beer Lao t-shirts;

-- Obstructed-view seats to the annual Mekong River boat races, held October 18-19 to celebrate the end of Buddhist Lent, $100, chairs not included;

-- Unfettered access to all services available to American citizens at the US Embassy; and,

-- Exposure to Avian Flu, Malaria, Typhoid, Japanese Encephalitis, Rabies, Hepatitis, SARS, liver flukes, Dengue Fever, and Phil.

Okay, who’s next?